Friday, 26 October 2012

Respect Your Senior Bloggers...

Only a writer knows what it takes to write a word.

Likhne Wala Hi Janta Hai
Lafz Likhne main KYa kayamat Aati Hai

Before you read further I think I should tell you the reason that why I’m writing this post. I often read posts written under the title “writer’s block” or similar like this. Even the senior blogger from rashmi bansal to neha or Mr. Agarwal everyone seems to get trapped in this so called block. 

And if one go into the depth to get the actual reason behind their jammed minds he surely get to know one thing that the blogging world or our so called unprofessional writing community is changing it’s mood and loosing its shiny and bright colors with each passing day. So the senior bloggers find themselves cooped in the cages of limited yet the solicitous writing.

Hundreds of new blogger and I feel no guilt if I clearly write it here the teen age blogger is making our blog sphere lifeless. 

Reading this you must recite that every one has its own unique way of writing although you must be agree with me that yes in our thoughtlessness we are wasting the power of pen.
But leave it here I will describe this point some other day.  

Over here at Udaipur daily I’m just making myself comfortable with other styles of pen otherwise I’m a food writer and an hotelier. I got no right to point fingers at anyone though I’m writing this Cuz I feel sorrow when I see new comers hurting seniors with their filthy comments and ignorance. 

In this post I won’t thousands of words as I can take you towards the conclusion in just two lines. I heard this Sher a long back written by Shabina Adeeb Ji.

Jo khandani raies hai wo, mizaz rakhte hai narm apna
Tumhara lehza bata raha hai, daulat tumhari nayi nayi hai…

And the second sher by the same shayra is enough to give a message to those who fly with new wings.

Jara sa kudrat ne kya nawaza, ki aake bethe ho pehli saf main
Abhi se udne lage hawa main, Abhi to shohrat nayi nayi hai.

Only point I’m raising here is that we have to respect people who are elder than us in any sense. They are seniors the ocean of experience we can never touch them. Second and the most important point is “blogging could have been global and doesn’t limit under the boundaries of nation though every country has its own nature and if you are representing that country worldwide by any medium then you have to keep the original nature and culture of that motherland in your mind.  

Do raise issues other than your routine writing style which can become the voice of your motherland.
Finally I got one my own sher to end up this post.

Tarkash Main Teer tere Pas bhi Hai,,,Mere Pas Bhi Hai
Behtari isi mai hai,,,Tu bhi sambhal ke chalaye Main bhi sambhal ke chalau…


Saturday, 20 October 2012

PAPA !!! Ak Scam To karo na Please !!!

I heard this from one of my friend since kejriwal is exposing too much Mahesh Bhatt is planning to take him in his movies.

I wonder how Mr. Arvind would look like in a song similar to “kaho na kaho” of murder.

Ok let’s come to the point straight away after the last press conference of IAC a lot of rumors is going on in the country. Some believes kejriwal and IAC is the B team of BJP on the other hand some believes he is doing the correct with these corrupt politicians.

I have been a big supporter of IAC and Cuz I write on political issues exclusively for some print media I could blog a humor post on current Indian scenario of exposing others.

A pissed off and fed up son of a less renowned politician was sitting in CCD with his girlfriend. After ten or 20 minutes a waiter went to their table and asked for the order.

 “I want a frappe with some with three coops of chocolate strawberry and vanilla ice-cream” Girl ordered this without glancing over the menu card.

Boy “I too would like to have a frappe”

“Sir with or without ice-cream” waiter was guided by the manager to improve sales figure”.

Holding his breath Boy replied “without ice-cream”.

Ma’am would you like to have some brownie” waiter again used all his selling guts and his all hotel management techniques.

Gaping at the boy’s eyes girl twinkled “brownie I just love brownie”.

“Anything for you Ma’am” music was clearly hearable in the air…

So finally the order came they had it and boy stood up to settle down the bill. Printed receipt came out from the machine.

Read “570 RS only”

Now the picture starts… Are you whispering “To ab tak kya tha”

It was just the trailer picture abhi baki hai mere dost” 
Let me take you in flash back…

Boy had only 400 RS with him. Outside the café girl said “she wants to drink something and also said she would drink frappe.

Boy thought one frappe in 75 so two frappe would come into 150 rs. and in that case he has enough money.

Scene clear…

Putting a heavy stone on his heart finally he asked girl that you have 170rs with you. I’m running out of money today.

Like every smart girl of our lovely planet earth girl replied “No I don’t… I thought you would have enough so I didn’t carry my purse…

Now what…

As I told in the beginning he was the son of a politician… He tried to use his jack and all that…

Look,,, I am the son of Mr. blah blah blah… my father is an MLA. Right now I’m running out of money but I assure you Ill settle it down next time.

Manager never heard his father’s name anywhere in his life so he refused.

For a normal customer CCD manager could have done this but as far as politician’s son concerned CCD’s manager refused this.

Neta ka beta wapas aake paise dega “ho hi nahi sakta” The manager of that café whispered in his colleague’s ears. 

They took off their cell phones and appointed them as dish-washers for a day. The girl and the boy worked there for whole day and at five they make them free.


Then… kya break-up ho gaya bichare ka…

That night he boozed a lot and finally returned to his home. His MLA father was sitting in the lawn with some party workers “chelo ke sath”

Papa!!! Do you know the similarity between Digvijay singh, sharad panwar, Robert vadra, manmohan, ajeet panwar, Khurshid, Chidambaram and entire well renowned politician class?    

Yes!!! They are our senior leaders. “Father grinned thinking that the first time his own son is taking interest in his politics. All chela’s sitting with him was also on cloud nine that Yeah... Now we will get a new young leader in the face of our leader’s son.

Nope!!! The similarity among those is that they all are exposed by Mr. Kejriwal and IAC.
Nobody knows you. You just do netagiri in front of your chele-chapate…

I want my father to be exposed by the IAC so I’ve sent all your secrete documents and list of our all properties to IAC. They assured me that they will expose you in next week.

“Papa hum famous ho jayenge” hurreyyyyy… fir mere break-up bhi nahi hoga…

Now would you please call your party leaders to make a statement what you need to give on media after your exposure?

The moral of the story is that in the current political scenario of our country if one needs to become famous he has to expose by the media or some so called civil society. Without this people like you and me (mango people according to Mr. Vadra) pay no attention to the politicians who are actually working in the favor of this country. There is a long list of some honest politicians who have experience and guts to improve our present condition although India media and we the mango people don’t pay attention towards them.

The development of any country is never relay on punishing some corrupt people but in real sense a country builds and stands on the shoulders of some honest people. Better IAC and we now starts taking those honest politicians on height and tolerating these people.   

A Day will certainly when we will talk talk and write about honest people...

I remeber the most pious line written by Dr. Ulmilesh shankhdhar...

Puri Himmat ke sath bolenge | Jo Sach Hai Wo Baat Bolenge |
Sahibo !!! Hum Kalam ke bete hai | kaise Din Ko Raat Bolenge |

Friday, 12 October 2012

Mr. Khurshid... Look !!! I Got No Wheelchair...

MR. Khurshid! Oh please listen!!!
Mr. khurshid
Look Am Legless
Can’t Walk can’t run can’t play can’t turn
You had promised me a wheelchair
Are you manufacturing?
Have you bought a car from that money?

MR. Khurshid! Oh Please listen!!!
Mr. khurshid
Look am deaf and mute
Can’t hear can’t talk can’t speak can’t express
You had promised me a hearing ad
Are you manufacturing?
Has Mrs. Khurshid bought gold earrings of that money?

MR. Khurshid! Oh please listen!!!
Mr. khurshid
You neither legless nor handicapped
You neither deaf nor mute
I know you’ve never walked in my boot.
You would never get to know my pain…

Do me favor please handover all my assets all my helps
To the one Yeah!!!
The king of deaf the father of mutes
One who is real legless and expressionless?
Give him everything we don’t need anything….

At last
MR. Khurshid! Oh Please listen!!!
Mr. khurshid
After this
Will you be able to sleep well in nights?
IF Yes…
I wonder HOWWWWWW…..

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Love With SuiMui of chakh De India...

Have you ever experienced the so called distance relationship? If you have then you would certainly know it’s painful but I bet my affair and the story is more aching than this so called distance relationship.

In second year of my graduation we’d changed our apartment and moved into a new one. Our (five bachelors) flat was on floor seventh. The society the area and everyone there was new for us. Among five the only person who I need to mention here is Louis.

Those days I was in a breakup mode.
Break up mode?

Arey wo hi wala jisme kuch accha nahi lagta aur uski yaad satati hai.

Samaj gaye na !!!

Cuz of some misunderstanding the connection between her and my heart was showing “attempt failed” error 404.


Fir Apni Basti Main Roopa aayiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….

On the fifth day I was in my balcony and I saw a leg coming out from the balcony of sixth floor. I curved myself to see whose leg is this? I failed in that though.

The clear picture was “someone was also standing in the balcony of sixth floor just one down to ours and her one leg (arey !!! najuk sa per tha that’s why I’m using this “her” over here)  could be visible from the seventh floor because of her standing position.

Seeing that my first reaction was “WOW” the owner of this leg must be too beautiful.

Are you smiling? You are na!!!

There is no need to laugh we boys are like this only. Wo kehte hai na

Dookan Dekh ke samaan ka andaja laga lete hai… Boys are like this.

I know some girls would also read this and would wonder about “what was unique in that leg?

Look!!! This is India. For us beauty is not just limited to color-completion and features. Some minor things also matters a lot in our life.
I still have the clear picture of that leg in my sights.

“A soft fair and clean leg (it was like the god had used his all creativity in manufacturing that leg) cooped in the chains of silver anklets and the upper portion wrapped in maroon legging was visible coming out and going in every now and then from the black railings of the balcony of sixth floor.     

That was one of most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen.

I personally think that no matter how modern we become our real USP is our Desipana.

Watch shakira Britney or gaga thousands times though just one smile of Rekha or Madhuri is enough to make any man going crazy.

Soon everyone my all flat mates came to know that I’m in love again. Actually that was not love that was just affection though I don’t know what made them feel like I’m in love or whatever.

After two or three days one day I saw her completely I mean toe to head in the lift. She was very beautiful.

You know I’m still speechless and can’t describe her in any word.

But Aap samaj gaye na… chalo… where was I?

Yeah In lift. I was gaping at her continuously and I think that was the only reason she too had gazed at me.

Are you murmuring “love in the air”.

No, love was not in the air. It was in the lift. Even I prayed and offered 11 Rs. to the lord Ganesha to stop lift in between.
 I Remember very well I said...
  “Hey bhagwan please light band karwa do, lift kharab kar do,,kuch bhi karo,,main ladoo chadhahunga….”  

 But that day lord Ganesha was in a sleeping mode and didn’t pay any attention towards my offerings and the sixth floor came.

That evening same incident took place again in balcony and this time I sold myself to her.

Next evening I was in the market and Louis did something extra-ordinary.  

He wrote my no. on a paper chit and in the evening when she was standing in her balcony as her daily routine he threw that chat towards her.

And coincidently that chit directly crashed into her hands.

Around eleven in night I received a call from an unknown no.

I picked up the call my all friends gathered around me to listen her.

Hello!!! I said in a confident voice.

Helo!!! (A bizarre and typical Indian pronunciation came from the other side.)  

After this for next ten minutes my hello and her helo went on.

Next day again the same thing happened with me my love story was glued on this hello phase and I was thinking

Ye bol nahi sakti shayad, disable lagti hai… On the same time I was cursing Louis for putting me in this worst situation.

I’d been talking to my so called dream girl for two days and wouldn’t talk anything further than this Hello.

Finally on third day I decided to ask about her to the watch man.

Do you anything about the people who live on the sixth floor? (I asked him worryingly)

Yeah they are from west bengal and have business here in Ahmedabad. (He replied in no time.)

And who is that girl who lives with them. (Actually I had no balls to ask this question though gathering all my courage I asked him

after all Pyar ka mamla tha…)

She is their sister-in-law came from orrisa to spend her winter vacations. (He replied)

Finally I got to know something about her and that night giving my five or six hours and in her tooti footi hindi English I got to know these things.

Call Started at ten in night.

“I” Your name….
‘She” HO…

“I” Aapka naam…
“She”  HO…

Arey what’s Your good name…
“She” HO…

Finally using my all brain cells in two hours I got to know her name “Anamika”

OK… then…

Do you still think after this I got to know anything further about her?

Jab naam poochne main do ghante lage to ….

Soon my unique love story had spread in college like a wild fire. Everyone including my faculty members was laughing on me and I was like….


I remember we used to talk in the most bizarre style. On the phone I used to speak for hours and in reply only “HO” used to come.

Actually she was born in Bangal and just after her birth they moved to orrisa. She never went to any English school so English was not at all her cup of tea. She knew only two languages orriya and Bengali. And I only hindi and englsih.

But the most important lesson what I learnt from this affair is that love really needs no words. Love has no boundaries. It’s the most pious feeling and everyone has to love the way his partner is.

After eight months I was in Udaipur for my industrial training. One day to excess some important numbers I inserted my previous Gujarat sim. The moment I switched on my cell the very moment I received a call. I was wondering how it is possible that you would insert any sim after eight months and you receive any call just after two minutes.

Hearing my hello a shaken voice came. I could feel her heavy throat. She was talking fluent Hindi and that day I got to know that how much she loves me. Just for me she’d joined Hindi classes and learnt Hindi in just eight months. When she had no other way to express herself I used to talk too much to her and that day when she talking to me with the flood of emotions I was speechless.

Today I don’t know where she is. Is she OK or not? Every night before going to sleep I wish her a happy life.

IS Dharti Se Us Amber Tak Do hi Cheez Gazab Ki Hai”

Ak To Tera Bholapan Hai !!! Ak Mera Diwanapan”

Monday, 1 October 2012

Beta !!! Jubaan Pe Lagaam lagao...

A London return son and his Indian father were quarreling on some issue. Walls under pink paint and the wall of the house the honorable lady was in plain cotton Sari.

Have you heard about jet lag? In ordinary jet lag man feels tired but in this particular picture the jet lag was something different so its results.  

This jet lag was resulted in mouth ulcer. Son was really in a bad condition.

Suddenly the father shouted “Beta Juban pe lagaam lagao”. Hearing this son was on cloud nine. He thought No matter we are fighting but my father my lovely pa is this much concern about me.

He stood up hurriedly touched his father’s feet and took a leave from there. After two minutes the colony witnessed the sound of honking.

The son was driving too fast to reach at any medical store. His mouth was burning though there were winters in his heart and his soul. Tears…  

No!!! No!!! Tears jyada ho jayega…hehe…

So he was driving and finally stopped in front of a small medical store. He got off the car, walked and in his tooti footi Hindi asked…

Aapke pas lagaam hai. (Do you have lagaam?)

Pharmacist was like me. He grinned and said “We have smile jell. Would it work?  

Son “No my father has told me to apply lagaam. Well it’s ok if you don’t have. I will try on some other shop.

Now the son was in his car again heading towards the next medical store.

He tried on two other shops but not succeed. Outside the third pharmacy he was cursing India. Saying “Even in 21st century India don’t have medicines for mouth ulcers. Is India really shinning? Blah blah blah…

Getting no other clue finally he decided to call his father back to ask about the location where this lagaam jell can be found.

He called his father but before he could speak anything his ex Indian girlfriend touched his shoulder from backside. He cut the line down and started talking to her.

That evening they had their dinner together. After six or seven meetings finally he proposed her for marriage. Now they are married.

Today is their 5th wedding anniversary and it’s been five years he didn’t face any mouth problem. Every night before going to sleep he thanks his father for the ultimate solution of all mouth problems.

India invented the ultimate medicine of all man’s mouth problem before anyone. IF you too face this problem please get marry with any Indian girl. Only they can put the lagaam on you.

My dad never faced the problem of mouth ulcers. Do I need to tell you, why?

After three or may be five years Ill also apply to get one lagaam. IF you have any good lagaam supplier in your sight please let me know.

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Who Writes Quotes and Saying?

I often wonder that who writes quotes and sayings and the reason behind my wonder precisely is that in this fast running world who are those lucky people who got time to give Gyan to others.

Arey bhai!!! "Yahan to khud ka hosh nahi dusro ko Gyan de to de kaise".

Though. In this facebook and twitter era we got so many around us who are doing this job pretty well.

Well I don’t want to waste your time as well as mine so let’s come to the point straight away.

I see this above written quote everyday on facebook. Sometimes girls with broken heart or sometimes boys with broken dreams post this on their wall on facebook.

Reading this I wonder about three things.

(1)   What he does when no rain.
(2)   Doesn’t he have a personal room where he can cry without caching by other eyes?
(3)    And most importantly why does he cry?

Ok Now read this one. 

On this I have just one thing to say “

Arey DADA! If you really love her or love him whatever it is, then why you need to pretend that you don’t. Just go and tell her that you really love her so much.
It’s so simple. Isn’t it?

Reading this I was literally laughing.

Look! You know Na! In what context someone would have written this.
 Obviously in the context of love

If she is breaking up with you then why would she prefer someone like you again in future? Obviously she would search someone exactly opposite of you.

Ak Galti Koi bar bar thodi karta hai.

And in the typical style of Mr. Bhide of “Tarak Mehta ka ulta chasma”

Hamare zamane main…

Love was something different. In that period, people like us who have no work other than to criticize good things used to seem speechless in front of pure and pious love.

Wait I got one proof. Read this one and if you have balls then please do try to criticize this.

Reading this I was speechless.
Rab Rakhha !!!

Friday, 21 September 2012

Munna Jara Sunna

Dear Me,

Unfolding this letter you must be expecting first line something like “I Hope you are doing fine there and all that” and reading this you must be shocked that why I didn’t write those lovely words of care in the beginning. Don’t I care about you?
Stop grinning. I hate the way you smile. Your front two teeth make you look like a rabbit. 
Yeah!!! Now you look good.
Hey buddy listen now as you’ve become older. At times you should behave like a man. And the reason behind the missing of those words is that I know that a person like you can never be sad. You know the art to paint this life colorful.
Oh!!! My god!!! Again White t-shirt!
Don’t you have any other color to wear or do you still think that “No matter what black job a man does but his collar should always be white”. Don’t you remember what shivani had said you once? “All color suits on you. You look good in blue also. You should try out other colors too.”

Hey!!! Shivani remembers me your long list of girlfriends. Do you still Loves to make that list long or now you’ve got one who is able to put a full stop finally.

Yeah!!! Yeah!!! I know now you want me stop saying all this rubbish. You are looking for something serious. Aren’t you? I know you love to hear straight forward words. So read me carefully.

I hate when you booze a lot.
I hate when your anger ruins your own created plot.

I hate when your whiskey talks.
I hate your alcoholic walks.  

I hate when you shout at her.
I hate when you slap her.

I hate when you ditch angels
I hate when you evade their pain teary eyes channels

I hate the way you think at times.
I hate the way negativity runs in your spine.

I hate when you behave immature
I hate when you pollute the pure.

I hate when you broke rules
I hate your fighting tools

 I got thousands things to hate in you and just one to love. I’ll tell you the last thing in the last.
But for now Mr. Me “where was I?
No!!! No!!! Before that. Yeah!!! On hate.

You know the time has come when you should start improving yourself. Now you need to improve yourself for your life partner especially for the other half part of your soul. You know sitting somewhere she is knitting dreams of you. Just ask yourself, can any girl spend her life with a person like you? No girl can.  

With each passing day your attitude your habits is running you. You know yourself better than me. Just look at you, just look at your heart. What are you up to?   

Please do something and take right steps so next time when I write to you I got some lines to describing what I love in you.

And I’m sure a day will certainly come when I’ll be able to write you the words of praise. Promise me that you will improve yourself. And I don’t want to hear that you will try your level best and so on. I heard this somewhere and today when my heart is talking I want you to tie my words with your breaths.
“Losers try their level best and die. Winners fight hard and go home with the victory queens.”

And yeah!!! The last thing that I love in you is “you. And this is the only reason I’ve been giving you thousand of second chances for 22 years.
You know Mr. Me “there is always one person in our life to whom we give numerous second chances, reason is that, we don’t hate him as much as we love him.”

In my life you are that person. You are the one on whom I can bet my whole life earnings. You are the gambler of gamblers. No one can beat you. You have all cards in your hands. The only thing you need to learn is “uses of those cards”.

And yeah!!! Before putting the pen down I want to tell you one most important thing. You remember in you’re third year you’d written a rap. I love two lines of that song.

Before and after me is a list of losers!!!
Koi kar ni sakta muqabla mera!!!

This post is part of the contest A letter to yourself.. on